From Dr. Fred Luskin’s Forgive for Good:A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness (HarperSanFrancisco, 2002)

What forgiveness is NOT:

1. Forgiveness is not condoning unkindness.
2. Forgiveness is not forgetting that something painful happened.
3. Forgiveness is not excusing poor behavior.
4. Forgiveness does not have to be an otherworldly or religious experience.
5. Forgiveness is not denying or minimizing your hurt.
6. Forgiveness does not mean reconciling with the offender.
7. Forgiveness does not mean you give up having feelings.
8. Forgiveness does not exclude or preclude justice.

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What IS forgiveness?

1. Forgiveness is the peace you learn to feel when you let go of unresolved grievances.
2. Forgiveness is for you and not the offender.
3. Forgiveness is taking back your power.
4. Forgiveness is taking responsibility for how you feel.
5. Forgiveness is about your healing and not about the people who hurt you.
6. Forgiveness is a trainable skill just like learning to throw a baseball.
7. Forgiveness helps you get control over your feelings.
8. Forgiveness can improve your mental and physical health.
9. Forgiveness is becoming a hero instead of a victim.
10. Forgiveness is a choice.
11. Everyone can learn to forgive.